well, for those who dind't know yet.. i have a job!

it's nothing special, just working as a simple employee in a store..
(to be precice, i'm working in a Hema store)

I like Hema.. they are cheap, have good quality and have plenty of nice stuff (also for presents)
but never had i imagined to work there

it's not bad.. i mean it though!! (darn) 'couse it's on a trainstation (and thus we have a lot of hurrying shopping customers)
and not just because of the customers, but also because of my team of fellow employees.

don't get me wrong.. i like the majority of 'em
but... there are so many of them!! (no seriously, shockingly many)


only now, in my 4th week, i'm starting to know them a little better

it's mostly females..
(weirdly enough)

and i have discovered a larper!
wow!
she's one of the many students hired for not-a-lot-of-hours
i believe she's called Monique.. and she playes mostly at some kidslarp I allready forgot the name of.. and she's thinking to go to VA with a group.
i'm looking forward to seeing her again, and chat a while.. i've seen her once before and discovered she's a larper just before my time at the store was over for that day so..


overall i'm pretty pleased,
exhousted... every day.. but pleased.
it's not the fantasy job i hoped for.. and it's a hard job (fisically), with long days.. but it seems to work for now.

tomorrow and friday i'll be working my first 'late' shifts from 14:30 'till 22:30 (the store opens at 7 and closes at 23:00)

shifts i've worked so far:
06:15 till 15:00
06:45 till 15:15
09:00 till 18:00


and allthough I have 'only' got an 4hour contract, i'm currently working 5 days of 8 hours a week! so that's pretty good.. means good payment and finally money to save up.

it allso means i'll not be able to come to unity on friday, wich kinda sucks.. but with being new and all.. i can't really do something but ask really friendly and hope for the best.. and again no-one wanted to trade shifts so..

luckily i have the monday after Unity off..
and that's goo because Rich is taking me to The Musicalbox in concert on sunday evening..

so, life's really buisy..
i havn't been able to take pictures what so ever for p52.. simply because i'm totally wasted after a days work. I feel good though, tired but good..
and now that i'm beginning to get used to it all, it actually provides me with more energy!

(and hopefully it will make me loose some weight in the process)

so... if you don't hear from me.. i'm just hectic, tired and a little on non-convo, not because i don't like you guys anymore.. but simply because i need to get this job into my system, and that might take a while

auw


yes; i think that discribes it.

this wasn't a good lex for me at all, not that i blame the event for it really but it just wasn't wat it could have been.

point 1: i couldn't get my saturday shift off meaning i had to work from 06:15 till 14:45.
point 2: that meant I went to bed around one-ish to try and get some sleep before having to wake up at 05:00
point 3: waking up at five, and walking into sna.. who raised is hand in shock to cover his gasp and said the words; Oh my god, you're up allready. (wich was kinda sweet but made me feel like an total idoit for actually doing this)
point 3: having to catch up sleep after work and not being able to socialise at all.
point 4: i couldn't really appreciate the location, i mean it was kinda cool in style but all those seperate rooms and groups have cost me the social feeling that lex normally has
point 5: not getting the hang of playing because i was simply to tired from sleeping 3,5 hours, then 8hours of work, another 2 hours of sleep
point 6: sore muscles in my knees from work, wich meant i couldn't walk properly

and i think i can continue this list for a while but i won't

some stuff that wás fun:

-helping a new player out, i was actually important for his start this event
-my first gangrel and tinekes comment; ic vond ik je best een beetje eng.
-bitchslapping simon's bad-ass character with claws!
-the schmink/make up i had as gangrel.. cora went all out there.. shame the mask didn't stick that well
(mostly because the weight of the shawl/cover made it go loose
-Tom and his gunparanoia, and his very first text message
-rené as Jack.. you're kinda cool, did you know that?

thank you notes to:

-JWK, Marlies, Rick, Richard, Tineke, Sna, René, John and everyone else who gave me good spirits and lot's of succes wishes when i needed it.. i would'nt have made it without you because i was allready hitting my emo-max on friday night late.
-everyone around me for getting that i just couldn't go any further on saturday.. sorry for the plot guys.. i really am
(allthough i've allready heard so many 'that's oke's... i couldn't help but feeling as somone bailing out of stuff)
-Richard, for being the caring boyfriend, and the fact that you bossed me around and make desicions for me.. i wasn't managing on my own.
(something about wanting stuff and just simply not being able to)


so, not a very good lex for me.. and i'm still paying the price for it, but that's oke.
i am never gonna work and larp in one weekend again!

-J4 out

(oh and i forgot to give sna my memory card for my camera.. but that's oke. Richard took it to work and has run a card recovery there.. he said there's still a lot of pictures saved)

we had a p52 meet last sunday, and i had a blast.

I never had this much fun fotographing before, and i sure could use the experience..

so this are the best two pictures (in my eyes) I was model for..

    

I've never done something like this before, and i am really glad with the outcome..
both pictures happen to be from Orks hand (and i've marked them rightly so)

yes, pleased..

finally, more pretty pictures from myself

another two of my creations.. :)

i'm getting the hang of it

 

sorry for the dray effect the secons one has.. i can't get that out without making it really ugly..

i like the first one best :)

silece before the storm i think (kinda literally because it's thundering and raining outside as i write this)
(and by silence for the storm means i'm enyoing my last days off before i go to work on friday)

i've spend the last two days away from my pc mostly..
i allready decided i was spending to much time there, but when i was still up monday evening by 2-ish watching stargate universe i diceded it was getting to far.

so last two days have been spend drawing mostly, wich was rather good for a chance.

I spend my time drawing still on the mandal theme i found out a couple of weeks ago.
I actually found a book today, with a cdrom to 'draw' mandala's with the computer...
well, i can really call it drawing basicly it workes like this:

step one..
-you get a screen with ring 1 2 and 3 on te left side (posten under eachother) with a mouse bar next to it from 1 to 100
so:

ring 1 {mousethingie 1/100}
ring 2 {mousthingie 1/100}
ring 3 {mousethingie 1/100}

and on te left side from that tou get a visual picture/drawing of the rings you've just chosen.

not much to it really, but it gives me something to play with and to get my inspiration from.
..

anyway, i would like to share my drawings, for i think they are really nice :)
the first few have been totally hand drawed by myself.

 
 

and now for the ones i 'drawed' on the computer..

 


i like my own hand drawings better then the ones i've printed.. simply because i've put more effort i it.
but the computer drawn mandalas are not bad either... just a lot bigger, and more work to colour up.


ah well :)
it's still fun to do

-J4

I feel like writing today.. I'm not much of a writer.. i mean the best story is still the one i have send to sna  for his Lextalionis Story book. And wich, apparently I haven't even got myself anymore.. so that's lost to me.

But anyway, today i feel like writing, so i'm gonna post several short story's today.. starting with this one:


Oh I justy remebered somthing, when i first started this journal, I wanted to use it for my own written story I was working on back then. I've never finished it, since i gave up on writing at some point. But i would again like to share the first chapter with you guys.

( My own story (no working title) )

a little story in rhime

so, and now i officially have a new job ^^


got everything signed etc.. i'm starting friday 6-11
feels weird, but good.

it might be a job i'll have to be flexible with.. as in hours... but the team seems nice,
it's a buisy shop, and i'll have to put everything i have in it.. but i think it's gonna be worth it :)

let's roll!

i have a job 0-o

oh my god!

just got the call half an hour ago, the Hema decided to hire me!

morgen om 10:00 moet ik er zijn voor het 2e gesprek en de papieren enzo...

net voor de zekerheid wel even met de galawinkel gebeld maar die besluiten pas aan het einde van deze week helaas.

dus tsja..

ik zal bij de hema wel beginnen met weinig uren .. maar dat zal na de inwerkingstijd al snel meer worden zei de hoofd P&O.

oh my god..

i still can't believe it

so.. yesterday early i had my job intervieuw with the dress-shop and it went well ( i think)
yes i was nervous, yes i was trembeling (i even dropped my coat when i wanted to put on the rack)
but I had  a nice conversation, a look around the store and half an hour later i walked out feeling optimistic.

but i don't dear hoping, this job would be awsome to have, but if any other person with more experience walks in and swoops the owners away, then i'm screwed.
i would love, absolutely love.. to have this job

i won't know if i have the job till another 1,5/weeks though

and today i had another job intervieuw, wich was way less stressing for some reason but still a positive thing.
i was out in 15min again.. buisy store equals less time

if i for some reason was offered both jobs, i wouldn't know what to choose..
absolute awsome job but working all saturdays or less awsome job but the potential to shift with hours and workdays.

hard one
especially since i would love to work in fashion

ah, well.. for no it's hoping for the best and fearing for the worst

-J4

I met up with Carlo in rotterdam yesterday to plan/plot things for our to-be-group on unity..
but it wasn't all business, we had some fun too.

we allso had some conversations that still mangle my brain.

everyone knows i'm the helping kind, i'm the caretaker..

carlo considerd that an act of arrogance.

he stated that it was truly arrogant to assume anyone needs your help, and that to think someone might be better of with your help.
or to think that someone might be lost without it.
he allso thinks that it's actually pushing your vision of happyness on somene else, stating that by trying to help someone you actually push your vision of happyness over the one that other person might have.

and i can't help getting very confused by this.
my brain see's the logic, but i can't help feeling really akward and lost

i'm not helping for myself, am i?
do i truly believe that someone is apparently not capable of helping themselfs, and thus i am arrogant enough to think they might with my help?
in my brain it doesn't work that way, i help a person out of the good of my heart.. i think..

is it wrong to reach out that helping hand? is it wrong; when i see someone struggle, to step up and offer my help?
in my eyes it never was, but now i'm doubting.

damnit carlo.
damnit

23 and counting ^^

nu al dank aan alle digitale e-cards die ik zo net in mn emailbox heb gevonden! dat is nog eens leuk wakker worden!


edit:

ghaaaaaa! Ik ben uitgenodigd op sollicitatie gesprek bij Galajurk.nl!!!! aankomende woensdag!!! *freaks out*

i wasn't planning to go, but i still went.. traveled to Uden, payed on the spot and went for it.

and it was the right choise.

now, i must say that Myriad is still a emo-heavy event for me, i have 1 person hanging on me for his sanity and since he's orga; i pay heavily.
but...ah well.. that's just what you do then.. right?

Myriad is in need for some fixing communication wise and orga wise.. not that it's bad or anything.. it just needs work.
and lies had a point there, there's no-one really wanting the heavy shit (people like to have lives somewhere along the way too)

so..well.. being an npc so close to the orga structure, i get a lot of emo-shit on my back.. wich is oke, 'couse that's what i do best and that's what people love me for. and this weekend wasn't anything different.

but enough about that.

apart form oc annoyances and bubbles popping.. it was fun :)

i had fun as Keyla, the forever-slave.. especially during the fnu-hunt *grin*
i mada a nice victem, and a good scream

the rest of my time has been spend oc a lot, trying to help ork, and later simon.. to get at least the bazar done.. i didn't help with the rooms in the end.. because, well... let's just say they didn't need it.
i allso played a General.. that was fun.. openly spying and meddeling on/with the ambassador (niels) .. that was hilarious..
the dinner was fancy-pancy.. thumbs (and everything else) up for that

sunday was mostly spend doing an outside-quest for the players..
we npc's had a camp, some fighters, 2 scouts, a mage and a healer(me) ... and the camp poofed.. yes you read that right it poofed.
we sort of played hide and seek there, and that was a lot of fun!
so, after all that i spend time clearing out the tent.. and then the rest of the terrain.

all in all i had a good weekend. allthough i now have blisters, bruises and a sore back.

so, no moots next weekend for me.. but it seems that i will be spending my birthday (on the 17th) with my boyfriend..
or at least i will be at his house while he's at work.

oh, and friday i'm gonna drop some kittys of at their new home :)

-sollicitaties vandaag verzonden: 3. De tuinen, Madame Tussauds en de bijenkorf

sooo.. no myriad because i wanted to go to the moots.. and now, no moots.. i decided not to.


and yes that means i could still technically go to myriad, but i don't feel like it.


i'm not feeling up for it, socially.. i'm just socialble atm.. maybe it's the sudden turn to autum.. but more likely because i feel weird.
i feel... i dunno... stupid.

not being hired is getting to me, it erks me under my skin..
and yes there's more, but that's for me to sort out..

so any tips on how to find myself again?
oh, and how to spend my 23rd birthday? without meeting a lot of people?

-J4

not going to post the whole story yet, simply because i'm just awake and still all emo and drained

i've been dredding this point since two symbols events ago, i know i've only been on symbols since the 5th event.. but symbols to me was home.

i can remember the person i was, running through the gate wounded and confused.. not even knowing my name or age..
and god how i've grown since then. Vlinder, so i was called.. a name that stuck to the village like glue.
everyone seemed to like me, everyone knew who she was. and everyone took care of her.

i went from a gril hardly speaking changeron, and currupted by moneke-thama.. to a well-love normal changeling up to the point that i even got myself engaged the very last event.

so much has happened.

and so much people have died.

so much thama's have died.

i'm still in working progress.. i might write my story some day, and if i do i'll be sure to post it.

but for now all i want to do, is cry my heart out

symbols is no more

This was by far the best show i could ever pick to watch.

as a kid i was a huge fan of the series, history was allways my favorite subject anyway..and dinosaurs just fasinated me.

so when i saw the commercial for this show a couple of months ago, i knew i just had to see it.

and it was so absolutely worth it

let me show you a few of the pictures i made:

 
Name: Stegosaurus (pronounce as; STEG-oh-SAW-us)
Lived: 154-144 Mil years ago
Diet: herbivorous
Fossils at: North America
 
Name: Brachiosaurus (pronounce as; BRACK-ee-oh-SAW-us)
Lived: 155-112 Mil years ago
Diet: Herbivorous
Fossils at: Africa & North America
 
Name: Torosaurus (pronounce as; TOR-o-SAW-us)          Name: Ankylosaurus (pronounce as; an-KIH-loh-SAW-us)
Lived: 71-65 MIl years ago                                                        Lived: 71-65 Mil years ago
Diet: Herbivorous                                                                        Diet: Herbivorous
Fossils at: North America                                                          Fossils at: North America
 
Name: Tyrannosaurus Rex, junior. (pronounce as; tie-RAN-oh-SAW-us rex)   and Mom
Lived: 75-65 Mil years ago
Diet: Carnivorous
Fossils at: USA and Canada


i totally loved the show, it was brilliant, wonderful, amazing and spectaculair..
it was everything i dreamed it to be

*dreams off*

right, i've finished up on the whole archive of QC (Questionable Content) and it has screwed my brain massivly.

somehow i feel the urge to see *hee* a lot, to giggle my but off and to make silly and utterly weird sexjokes with no content.

darn, i'm corrupted.

it even made me have thé most weird convo with Arjen on msn in the world, and managed to get myself even more loved by him..
dunno must have been the whole 'wearing swimsuits in the shower' and 'a girls day out' discussion

euhr, right.

as i said, i feel compusivly disorderd, utterly female, and very very less sick.. joy to the werid world of webcomics..

darn you richard, darn you

*hee*

drat

as some of you might notice, i am on msn during work hours.. wich means i have come down with this being sick far enough to actually call in sick at work.

in all the time i've worked i can not remember ever, ever calling in sick. bleuh

so, please, if any of you have any tips on stuff to do at home.. do tell me..

youtube mocies, normal movies, books, webcomics.. anything you can think of..

because www.questionablecontent.net/ is not going to last me a couple of days anymore, and  www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/ is only amusing for a while.

hit me! i'm in for anything